Quintilla Valentine has a tank full of sea monsters. I wouldn't lie to you.

Quintilla Valentine is my other best friend. Now, being raised in a conservative environment, you can imagine how having Quin (who needs to cleanse your house with sage and tell you how your aura corresponds with the planets or some shit) would be entirely too fascinating.

*Imagine what it would look like to see George Washington walking through the park with Phoebe from Friends.* Inorite?

Periodically I'll share some of the ridiculous situations she's gotten me in (yeah, Quin, I'm the victim here, you're a monster) up to and including the time I was drugged on pain killers from surgery and, in my state, Quin dyed my platinum blonde hair fire red. I was fifteen. Mom was irate.

Or the time we were in a fight for several months and the only thing that brought us together again was the abduction of a fluffy orange cat named Goofy.

Getting Lost in San Antonio and being attack by a half dead bat.

Quin locking herself in a dog kennel at a house party of close to 100 people because the puppy "was lonely."

Taking two 5-year-olds to Hooters because Quin felt like wings and it was the closest thing to the bowling ally.

Other fun Quin-facts include:

Right? And I'm wearing sneakers to the bar...

• Belly dancer.
• Pierces interesting parts of her body and makes me go with her.
• Burns incense (which is never about the smell and always about the effect it is to create).
• Wears shirts with giant sparkly tigers and heels with monsters.
• Identifies as a gamer and would probably have a cow if I didn't mention her 17,135 point gamer score on Xbox... {happy?}

She's also super feisty.

Ex: Guy voices his New Years resolution, going in depth as to his workout plan and new level of motivation. Her public response? "No one cares."

*Sigh* I'm surrounded by character animosity. And dog hair. But that's a different battle. Or the same... she has, like...4 dogs, 3 cats, some snakes and a tank full of alarmingly large "fish."

Okay I'm leaving you with a picture of Quin's pets in various displays of bad/erotic posture. Totally inspirational.